Back to School Happy Blues

There…I said it. Back to School is here and I AM HAPPY!!! I’ve got some me time. The uninterrupted quiet time where my thoughts can actually finish themselves. And laundry, I can finish laundry. The time that we often dream of about midway through summer. I get it.  I was over it too. The messy house. The chores. The ongoing bickering about he did this or she took my charger or whatever else I was trying to tune out. Here I am, all sweaty from my workout sitting at the kitchen table with coconut oil in my hair, thinking its a good idea to have another cup of coffee…and it’s quiet and still and I love it.

It’s a good quiet. It’s the quiet where you can think and reflect and wonder and feel. It’s the type of quiet where you can gather your thoughts and hit refresh. And then it hits you. This quiet that we yearn for at the end of summer is going to be permanent all too soon.

My boy is turning 14 in just a couple weeks. FOURTEEN people!!! I can’t say that in my head without tearing up a bit. I’m not sure when exactly he grew up. I guess I’ve grown up with him. It just sort of happens. You grow together. But when I think about what little time I have left with him in our house, under my protection, I feel sad. Sad that I’m running out of time to show him enough love, enough guidance. In just two years he’ll be driving. And two years after that he’ll be off to college living his life. And the quiet will slowly sneak in. 

Fortunately his little sister will stick around for a couple more years. But then there’s that.  She’s gone from a little girl to a young lady, and I can see the spark of a beautiful woman not too far away in her eyes. And then she’ll be driving and off to college living her life. And I feel sad again.

Am I loving them enough?  Am I showing them enough life? Am I doing enough for them?

Someone once calculated that there are only 940+/- Saturday’s from the birth of your child until their college years. That, to me, is not enough. It’s not enough time to love them, to nurture them, to protect them. It’s not enough time to learn about who they are and what they’ll become. It’s not enough for me. So moving forward, when I’m yearning for me time and counting down the days for school to start. I’m going to remember that there is going to be plenty of me time in approximately 940+/- Saturdays. For now, it’s all about them! Love them, nurture them, guide them, and prepare them to live their lives…and don’t forget to capture the journey. After all, pictures are a great way to remember…

For all you mamas out there feeling free, you got this! For all you mamas out there with tears in your eyes, you got this! For you working mamas, stay at home mamas, single mamas, and in-between mamas…WE got this!!!!

Now hurry up and enjoy your quiet time! You’ve only got a couple more hours before you have to pick up your kids!!